Hey everyone, Jack here and today’s episode comes out on Ron's birthday, I can’t believe the man is 79 years old!?!? Anyways, before getting into today’s episode I would like to say a huge happy birthday to the man himself, he has many times made me happy and feel safe in being a writer. Before starting this blog, I was very self conscious of my writings, often I hid them well away asides the odd bit of poetry or funny lists I made about what man was attractive. When I began getting into this band I soon quickly fell in love with how Ron wrote music, it’s almost like a short film or a diary window into Ron’s mind. Before I properly begin, I’d like to add I’m not a writer by trade, my main trade is illustration and writing for me just helps me explore more of my creative brain juices as often times I find myself overwhelmed by so many ideas and thoughts I just know some can’t be drawn. In this episode I’ve tried to illustrate these feelings and examples I discuss but it’s incredibly difficult, so I am going to try writing my best descriptions for this episode. Today I’m covering stimming and its connection to sparks.
Me and you looking at this episode for my advice and examples :)
Firstly, you might be thinking what is stimming? Stimming is self soothing behaviours, often can be used to show one is happy/excited or angry/sad/overwhelmed. These can vary from person to person, but they are repetitive. Sometimes people use stim toys to help unmask and stim in a socially acceptable way. Unfortunately in recent years, stim toys are seen as regular toys by many but this makes it much more accessible and affordable for people like me. I use a few stim toys in my everyday life as I often find I’m sensory seeking when I’m overwhelmed; these can be seen in my favourite stim toy, the tangle. I love tangles as they are quiet and are almost like worms to me and are easy to fit into a bag or pocket, plus when it’s in my hands in the open I feel calmer and more focused as I can find my words and socialise better. For those unaware, I’m select mute which often leads to me not speaking to strangers full stop and making others help me speak up; I’ve had this since childhood but since my teen years I’ve began masking heavily and withdrawing further from the speaking aspect of life. If you reading this ever met me in public and were like “oh my god you’re that writer” I’d probably hide or be very quiet, not out of rudeness but because sometimes I want to say something but I’m overwhelmed by every other sensory aspect around me. When I have my tangle this socialising is easy as I have something my brain can focus on, especially the textured ones, I have 2 so far which are textured and often I find I “loose” them by putting them into random bags or pockets. Another stim toy I enjoy is nee-doh balls, they’re essentially tougher and more squishier stress balls and I find these relaxing to use during lectures as I often find I’m unable to sit still when someone’s talking at me for hours. I find nee doh balls a 7 out of 10 because during one long lecture which was overwhelming me due to my lack of a break, the ball I had that day broke in my hands. These balls are perfect for my stim where I fiddle with my hands and they’re also really good at keeping me calm. My last example is squishmallows. Yes, these got very popular in the young adult market over lockdown and I am still heavily in love with them. I grew up collecting cute creatures and squishmallows are that nostalgic vibe I’ve spent years needing, if I were to photograph the collection I own I would be delaying this episodes release for a few days due to me having so many. One of my favourites is a purple frog called Philomena as she was given to me by my best friend as I was going through a rough time. Often in my fidget pocket on my bag I have a squishmallow as they’re cute which gives me a distraction to draw but also I love them as people love asking me about them and it gives me a social starting point. Also squishmallows are the best for my overwhelmed moments as I tend to throw things or punch things and squishmallows allow me to do that guilt free.
These are the tangle and needohs
More around stimming, some of us have “physical” stims such as: feet tapping, humming, whistling, clicking, stamping, giggling, pacing, flapping our hands and lots more. When I’m happy or excited I stamp my feet and giggle. An example of this is when I’m in my ceramics sessions and I get the hair making set I giggle and stamp my feet as I’m doing it because the sensory joy in making noodles makes me excited and happy. When I’m sad or overwhelmed I tend to rub my hands together or pace such as when someone’s late or I’m doing something new. One day I’ll discuss more on change for me as an autistic person but today I’m focusing on stims.
To add to my last paragraph, sparks can help me unmask these stims and much more. And it’s not just me who finds this happens. In my last question post for doing my research when writing this episode I asked if anyone else stims to sparks and if so what songs in particular. Many people responded all sparks songs make them stim in one way or another. My own example is when I hear number one song in heaven as it goes from a slow to a fast bpm which allows my brain to flow brilliantly, plus I love mimicking the Ron shuffle. Another example I will add is whenever I put the album whomp that sucker on, I find the whole album is extremely 80s and is the perfect balance of happy stims blending with dance. My favourite song from that album currently is upstairs which I find I love strutting and flapping my hands to as it has such an addictive rhythm to it.
The album I find I stim the most to, Whomp that Sucker (1981)
Time to discuss and add what other people said they do as stims to sparks songs. G Bernard Wandel told me they tap each of their forefingers off their thumb in the alternating rhythm patterns which come with sparks, they do this often as a calming down thing. Pauline Vaughn tells me they play particular tracks over and over and often repeat a certain part, an example they gave me was Lawnmower in which they repeat the “La la las”. Many others mention they sing or say sparks lyrics as vocal stims.
Lawnmower visualisation
Growing up, I was unaware I was autistic but did numerous things which I now know were stims. Such as humming songs or tapping to the rhythm of a song. Sometimes I’d hum or tap a song that was stuck in my head, often in today’s world I find sparks stuck there permanently.
With sparks I can easily explain to people around me what this looks like and how it feels to me, sparks are quite literally a spark in my brain which can make me explode in nervousness, calmness, joy or frustration. A song I didn’t discuss earlier but came up when asking fellow sparks fans was “Dick Around”. This song was often brought up when fans mentioned their vocal stims and I must agree with them as when I first heard this track I was in my university class and it made me feel purples and feel like I was in a musical. My favourite sparks line to vocally repeat is “all I do now is dick around” and it must relate to so many as fellow neurodivergent sparks fans also find themselves repeating that line too, makes one wonder if we feel the anger and frustration Ron had when writing this song to try and remind the world sparks aren’t just 2 old guys, but they’re much more than that.
That’s all I have time for today. Thank you so much for reading. I do apologise for the waits/delays in writing. Recently I went to London and thought I’d finish this installation in London but every night I was exhausted from the sensory overload which was that city. However, I really enjoyed it and met some wonderful people, one of who is a fellow sparks fan and was really impressed when they learnt I was also a sparks fan. In just over 2 weeks, I go to Scotland for a few weeks which makes me so happy as I get to draw my home land and have a true break from humanity. In current weeks, I’ve wanted a break from society because of my mental state and the current unrest in the far right protesting. Mentally I have been trying my hardest not to let it get worse as I am finally away from my dark ages and finally seeing myself, but also the screaming and dark thoughts sadly never stop. But Scotland will help me see more me and hopefully help stop the screaming I hear.
Anyways, I’ve been Jack or Noodle. I hope you enjoyed and feel free to leave comments and responses in the comments.
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